Drugs
by sugarbowl99
Summary: Winry was horribly torn between her love and the thing that made her forget him. Part of her knew what to choose.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, everyone! I know I've been virtually dead for a while, but that's because me and me very good friend R.B (who does not have an account on this website, but will more than likely read this story) have been busy writing new stories and making new characters!

And review…

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Winry pressed her face longingly to the window, her attention split between the raindrops trailing down the glass and the empty, muddy road.

Ed wasn't there.

Biting her lip, she willed herself not to cry. He wasn't there, he was still away, and Winry felt vile feelings blossom in her chest. Hope, want, sorrow, and loneliness filled her, and a headache exploded behind her eyes.

Those were the four feelings Winry hated- no, loathed.

Winry left her room and walked numbly downstairs. There was nothing to do, nothing to take her attention away from _him_. Den was asleep, there were no customers because of the rain, and Granny was cooking- not that there was much Winry and Granny could do besides talk.

And Ed wasn't there. It made her feel awful.

She drifted back upstairs. Her eyes felt warm, but she blinked them rapidly until they didn't. She wasn't going to cry over him; it wasn't of any use. He had Sylvia to love, and Alphonse as family- where was Winry in his heart? She was useless.

Despite all of her best efforts, tears spilled over Winry's eyelids, but she didn't wipe them away. She wanted Ed with every fiber of her being, and she wasn't going to deny it. She wanted him there, wanted him to hold her, wanted to know what his lips felt like on hers. And, to break her own heart even further, she admitted to herself that it would never happen. He belonged to Sylvia- _how she hated Sylvia!_- and to her he would belong, always.

"Ed, Ed, Edward," Winry whispered. His name alone made her heart squeeze tight.

When he was around, Winry always found herself in the middle of an ocean- an ocean of hopelessness, happiness, and love. A drifty, dreamy world.

How she wanted him.

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Winry could not take the feeling any longer. She needed an out. Something to take away the pain. She hated the idea, but she knew one thing that would take the edge away.

"Granny, I'm going for a walk!" she cried.

"In this weather?" Granny Pinako called back. "Fine, but take your slicker and boots. Can't have you getting a cold."

And Winry left, her goal to destroy her own life forever.

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Review.


	2. Goal Achieved

It's chapter two, so soon!

_Goal Achieved_

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All of Resembool knew that the Meribels, a rude, middle-aged couple with children with children that were just as horrid, used drugs. Whether it was prescription or otherwise, they did it. Because of it, their already foul demeanors were even worse, and if they went less than two hours without their _stuff_, they became absolute monsters. No-one in Resembool dared come near their home; the Meribels claimed that everything near their house belonged to them, including the air they breathed and he pollen floating in it.

Winry was taking a risk just by standing on the edge of their property, she knew, she knew. A man had actually been shot by Mr. Meribel once, simply for walking past, on his way to the fields. She hoped with all of her heart that they weren't peeking out of the windows of the run-down house with their beady, evil eyes. Then she banished that thought. Hope was one of _those_ feelings.

Taking a deep breath, Winry stepped forward two paces, then broke into a wild sprint.

She'd made it! She now stood, trembling, at the gate of the Meribel's fence. Slowly, carefully she placed her hand on the (er) handle, and pulled it down. It gave the tiniest squeak. Winry froze. Her eyes darting back and forth between the house and the gate, she pushed slowly on the handle, and the gate opened.

Winry did not open the gate very wide. She opened it wide enough for her to slip in, and then left it open.

Just in case there was need for a quick escape.

Once inside, Winry's guilty, frightened conciousness began to reprimand her.

_What's wrong with you?_ It asked her. _You're resorting to drugs?! Why?!_

_Because I need them,_ Winry replied silently.

_For what? Forgetting Ed? _Her conciousness asked almost mockingly. _He'd be so disappointed in you, Win. You're stooping low. He'd never talk to you again. He'd hate you for trying to replace the essence of his presence with drugs, of all things! And Al would be so ashamed. He'd never be able to look you straight in the eye again. You're an idiot! A pure bred, real idiot!_

For a moment, Winry felt regretful of even thinking of doing drugs. But it was replaced quickly with _those_ feelings.

_I'm doing it,_ she told herself firmly. _Or I'll never be able to sleep calmly again._

_Moron,_ her conciousness told her one last time, then fell silent.

Winry took a deep breath again and slowly ventured further into the Meribel's yard.

There was a patch not far away from her. Winry recognized the leaves- marijuana. It'd been in one of her parents' medical books.

Winry grinned. This'd do just fine. Anything would do.

Three more steps, and Winry was kneeling at the edge of the patch. She reached out, paused, and then feverently began to pluck the plants from the ground.

She pulled, yanked, and snatched the plants. Minutes passed, and Winry found she could no longer carry them in her hands. She began to stuff them in her (unmentioned, sorry) bag.

And then, that was enough.

Winry closed her knapsack with shaking fingers, and then, trembling from either the cold rain or excitement, escaped the Meribel's yard and flew back home as fast as her feet could carry her.

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Ed was coming home.

Ed was coming home, and for once Winry didn't want him there.

It wasn't anything he'd done. It was more Winry's poor mental health. She was whacked out of her mind and feeling good.

Her room was a mash of swirls. Winry felt as if she were swimming through the colourful mess, and she felt a silly grin swallow her face.

Or did she? In this state, Winry wasn't quite sure of anything.

Ed was coming back to Resembool, she was quite sure of that. He'd see her and hate her already, not long after she'd discovered her out.

Winry felt the fuzzy goodness that had enveloped her mind begin to fade, and with a frown pushed Ed out of her mind. The feeling was good. The feeling of nothing was oh-so sweet.

She sighed- or thought she did. Ohh, she felt good, she felt sweet, just… there were no words to describe the delicious feeling Winry felt.

But most of Winry prayed- she avoided hoping as much as possible- that Ed wouldn't return before her high was over. When he'd called, just minutes before, Granny had said that he'd said that he and Al- and who else?- were on the train, about an hour or two away from Resembool.

A tiny, tiny portion of Winry didn't want the high to end.


	3. Returning to a Broken Heart

Yay~! I love writing!

Review, or my Chicken Stew Army will eat you, armed with spoons.

_Returning to a Broken Heart_

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As soon as Edward Elric stepped off of the train and onto the cement of Resembool Station, he knew something was wrong. One look at Al and Sylvia's faces confirmed that they felt it too.

It was if something had changed.

"Brother…" Al said slowly. Sylvia looked at him worriedly.

"It feels… wrong," Ed said softly. "I wonder if something's happened."

He turned to Al and Sylvia. "Let's go."

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Winry was overjoyed tha her high had worn off, because Ed and Al were scheduled to arrive any minute. But part of her longed for thant feeling, that delicious, floaty, droopy place.

She pushed the feeling away and stared out of the dry window.

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Ed glared at the Meribel's run-down, mouldy house. He'd never them; they were a bunch of selfish, horrible people, and, in Ed's opinion, they could go die in a hole.

Had Ed been talking face-to-face with the Meribels, they would have promptly replied that they had not asked for Ed's opinion, and in response, Ed would've become wildly, unavoidably angry, and…

Aw, hell. Back to the real story.

As Ed, Al, and Sylvia ventured (Al and Sylvia rather timidly) closer to the disgusting shack the Meribels called a home, Al whispered. "Do you think they're home?"

"Here's hoping they aren't, " Sylvia said, smiling weakly. Ed and Al had told her all about the Meribels, and the thought of meeting those 'terrible beasts!' scared her half to death.

"If they are, they better not try to pick a fight with me!" Ed declared quietly. "C'mon. Let's go before they decide to show their ugly faces." He grabbed Al and Sylvia by their hands and (quite hurriedly, Al noticed) pulled them away and out of the Meribel's 'property'.

"Let's hurry to Winry's house," Al suggested.

Without another word, they went on. It seemed they'd all forgotten the eerie feeling of change they'd sensed at the train station.

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There he was. Ed had arrived.

Winry groaned. She felt awful. Dizzy, like, and sick. Those were understatements.

Downstairs, Den began barking. "Winry!" Granny Pinako called. "Come down, we've got guests!"

Still groaning, Winry pushed herself up off of her bed. "Coming, Granny!"

Struggling not to stumble, Winry tripped her way down the stairs. "Here I am, Granny," she mumbled tiredly.

"What's up, Win?"

"Hello, Winry."

"How are you, Winry?"

_She_ was there, oh, no, and Winry's blood began to boil at the sight of her, holding Ed's hand and smiling. Why had Ed brought her along?

"Winry?"

The sound echoed a bit in her full yet empty mind, and Winry blinked twice, slowly, before she realized that the sound was her name. "Oh. Oh, yes, Al?"

"What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" He was concerned.

"I'm just a little sick, is all," Winry chirped. She forced a smile.

But that didn't make their worried looks go away. They still peered concernedly at her. It made Winry annoyed.

"Why the heck do you care?" she snapped at Ed.

"What the hell is your problem?" Ed yelled back.

" This is, like, the first time you called before you came to visit in years, and now you're worried about me?! You never seemed to care before!" Winry crossed her arms.

"If you'll remember correctly, it was _Al_ who asked about you, Winry!" Ed shouted. "And, yeah, I'll admit, I was a bit worried! But if you're gonna act like this every time I show a little concern for you, then I _just won't give a damn!_"

Ed then turned and stormed upstairs, kicking wall and doors, and Winry gaped stupidly at the spot where he had once stood.

"Jeez," Sylvia huffed, and tromped upstairs after Ed.

Winry followed her with her eyes, an angry bonfire burning behind them.

"Winry," Al said, breaking her concentration.

"Why'd you get so mad? Brother didn't do anything. I asked you if were okay. Why didn't you get mad at me?"

Winry had no reply.

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Sylvia's nose sniffled cutely, and she sat down on the edge of the bed. Ed had flopped across it, an angry look on his face.

"Something smells funny up here," Sylvia announced. "You smell it?"

Ed stared at her for a minute before answering. "Yeah. I do."

"I've never smelled it before."

"Me, neither."

"What do you think it is?"

"… I've got no clue," Ed said, "but it's a very distinct stench."

"I know, right?" Sylvia said.

"…"

"…"

"Is Winry mad at me?" Ed asked abruptly.

"I… don't _think _so," Sylvia said. "She seems a little confused and upset. Teenage angst, like."

"Maybe," Ed said uncertainly, "but I've a feeling something else is up."

For a moment, there was an uncomfortable, eerie silence, and, shivering, Sylvia curled up next Ed. He wrapped an arm around her?

"You cold?" he murmured.

"A little," Sylvia admitted almost shyly.

"I'm tired," Ed told her (rather randomly). "I think I'll take a nap."

"… Me, too," Sylvia said.


	4. Jealousy: Breeder of Hate

Happy Halloween, everyone, although I can't say I'm too happy. I'm not feeling too well. The only reason I'm going out into the cold tonight is to get a buttload of candy to last until next year. It always does.

Review.

Jealousy, Breeder of Hate

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Winry had hated Sylvia from the start, but her hate rose to a crescendo when she saw Ed and Sylvia cuddled up in a warm little ball in Ed's bed.

She found she couldn't blame them. It was winter, and a very cold one at that (Winry was surprised there hadn't yet been a snow). That, however, didn't stop her from being angry.

Al was walking down the hall, looking for something to do, when he saw Winry. She was peeking through a crack in Ed's door, green with… envy?

"Winry?" he asked tentatively.

"_**WHAT."**_ She snarled- it was more a statement than a question- whirling around. Al jumped with a squeak.

"Oh… Al," she said, the greenish-red mix fading from her cheeks.

"What are you…" Al began to ask, then hesitated, confused by the look on Winry's face.

"Nothing! Uh, nothing," Winry blurted, blushing madly.

"Hm," Al said, and Winry scuttled downstairs.

As soon as he was sure Winry was gone, Al peered through Ed's cracked door. And then, suddenly, he began to see exactly what Winry's problem was.

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Days passed. A week. Every member of the household seemed to be avoiding each other- minus Pinako. She dismissed the others' strange behavior as normal teenage problems, and she wasn't very intent on getting involved with any of it.

She stirred to pot of stew she stood over (with the help of a step stool). Winry had been holed up in her room for quite a while, and since she'd started doing that, the upstairs had taken on a very strange, rather annoying scent. Pinako wondered what it was occasionally, but most of the time, she ignored it.

Ed had been very fidgety. Pinako thought it normal; Ed wasn't one to stay still for very long. But it was a different type of twitchy. It wasn't Ed's "caged animal" fidgets. Almost like someone in love who didn't know how to propose the right way.

Pinako chuckled at that. If Ed wanted to say something, he'd come right out and say it. He was just restless.

Al, like Winry, had been quiet, but he ventured from his room more and was a bit more talkative. He still insisted on helping Pinako do odd jobs around the house. Pinako wondered if that was just in his nature.

Sylvia was polite, but silent. She stuck around Ed most of the time- Pinako hardly ever saw the two apart- but she scribbled madly in a book half the time. She refused to let anyone, even Ed, see it.

"These kids are the strangest I've ever met," Pinako murmured. "But perhaps that's allowed. After all, they've all had some pretty burdened, strange lives, haven't they?"

Pinako lifted to wooden spoon she'd been stirring the stew with out of the pot and laid it on the counter. Turning off the eye, she cried, "Dinnertime!"

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"Dinnertime!"

Three pairs of feet pounded down the stairs, and cheers of joy filled the Rockbell home.

"Alright! Stew!"

"Smells delicious, Granny."

"Oh, I can't wait to have some, Ms. Rockbell!"

"Pinako, dear," the old woman reminded the girl gently. "Hm?" she said suddenly. "Where's Winry?"

Al opened his mouth slowly and said carefully, "She was in her room. I think she was asleep."

"That's the third time today," Pinako grumbled. "I swear. I wonder if…"

As Pinako drifted off into the wonderful world of women, Al offered to serve his brother and Sylvia. Just as he was filling the ladle with warm soup, a rough-looking Winry straggled in, eyes red and puffy. Al bit his lip, Ed refused to look at her, and Sylvia looked genuinely concerned.

Crossing the kitchen in two quick strides, Sylvia reached up to put a hand on the other girl's shoulder. "Winry, are you…"

Winry slapped the shorter girl's hand away. "I'm fine," she said gruffly. "Just hungry."

"Your eyes look awful," Sylvia winced. "Did you get something in them? Is it pink eye? If it's pink eye, Cook Taylor- that's my cook, you know- has a _wonderful_ remedy that will…"

"I'm not sick!" Winry barked. Sylvia seemed to shrink, and Ed glared at Winry from where he stood on the other side of the room. "I don't need any 'remedy'. I'm just fine."

"Sorry," Sylvia squeaked.

"She was just trying to help," Ed muttered.

"Whatever," Winry said. Her eyes, narrowed angrily, burned with hatred.

And Sylvia saw it.

Sylvia's eyes grew cold, but something in their depths still shined brightly- was it hurt?

"Well,_ sorry_," she spat. "I didn't know you want anyone to care about you. Sorry for my concern."

"Don't get smart with me, shrimp," Winry hissed, leaning close.

"I'm not hotheaded like Ed," Sylvia snarled ("Hey!" Ed cried). "I'm not going to fly into a rage like him, either. Jeez." She stood on her tiptoes until her nose almost touched Winry's. "But don't call me out of my name again."

"Oh, yeah?" Winry taunted. "And just what are you-"

"Ladies, ladies," Ed cried, leaping between Sylvia and Winry before fists could start flying. "C'mon. It's dinnertime, and we're all hungry. Let's sit down and eat-without starting a war."

Sylvia and Winry backed away from each other, only a bit surprised at Ed's being the peacemaker. It was evident that they now shared somewhat of a mutual hate for one another.

They both had their reasons.

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Perhaps I'll get more reviews, please? And I don't mean you, Backer. You know who you are.


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